TO LISTEN WITH YOUR HEART ISN’T AUTOMATIC
One of my most quoted phrases, when I’m working with clients on relational issues, is this one: “Head to head competes. Heart to heart completes.”
This thought occurred to me one day while I was sitting with a client and he was sharing with me how difficult it was to get through to his spouse. He stated that they were both stubborn people and neither wanted to give in. It’s as if we both want to win.
I applaud him for acknowledging what it was they were doing. They were competing to see who would wave the white flag of surrender. Even though this was the last thing he wanted to admit to, yet he did because he wanted to have a different outcome from the one he was currently experiencing.
MAKE A CHANGE
As you’ve probably heard many times over, “If you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you will keep getting what you’ve always gotten.” This quote is attributed to a few people, one of which is Henry Ford.
My client had to make some changes. He would keep on getting what he’s always gotten—conflict. He was tired of it.
He was now at a good place — the place of change. HE WANTED CHANGE!
No one changes until they want it! I wholeheartedly believe that.
I challenged him to do something that he was not doing — listen with his heart. This is not an easy task. Not many men do this. Without being stereotypical, I find that women are more apt to do so.
HOW TO LISTEN WITH YOUR HEART
This begs the question: How do you know when you are listening with your heart, or for that matter, how does one do so?
To listen with your heart is intentional and it requires a posture of humility. Pride is the enemy of the heart. It guards the door of your heart and dares anyone to enter in.
With humility, you are more willing to “listen to hear” what’s being said with empathetic ears. You are listening to the other person’s plea, request, cry, frustration, and other emotions. The heart hears emotions. The head tends to hear control, attacks, accusations, and so on.
TRANSFORMATION AT HOME AND AT WORK
Imagine if you were to model this type of listening to those around you and help them to practice it as well, what would that be like? I believe you would transform your surroundings one-hundred fold.
To know if this works, test it out.
The next time you are in conversation with someone and you begin to feel a slight tension, take a deep breath and commit to listening with your heart to see what difference it makes.
As stated above, it is not an easy transition to this type of listening especially if this is new to you. You might need help doing so.
If this is an area that you need help in, let me know. There are other tools and strategies that I use to help my clients and it’s also a part of some of the presentations that I give to groups. If you know of a group that could use my service, please let me know. You can see some short videos of me speaking HERE.
Remember, I’m here to help you Optimize for success! So reach out today!
If you are interested in being coached in this area or have me consult with or present to a group that you are a part of or know a group that could benefit from this kind of teaching, reach out to me and let me know.
In the meantime, leave a comment below to share your thoughts with us.
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