BECOMING VULNERABLE TO THESE ODDS
I was taught from an early age to “keep my feelings to myself.”
I was indirectly taught that I was to “be seen and not heard.”
I was taught that I should “keep private things private and not take it public.”
I was taught to “mind my own business.”
These were just some of the lessons I was taught directly and indirectly. Some of these lessons were constructed by the culture I grew up in—Jamaican/Caribbean culture.
Were you taught any of these?
Because of the lessons taught, it was hard for me as an adult to express some of my innermost thoughts, struggles, and feelings. To do so, would be an acknowledgment of weakness…
… and who wanted to be seen as weak. Surely not me. Would you?
What I realized was that holding onto my feelings that so badly wanted to be expressed and/or shown, was painful. I had to suppress them because that was what was expected of me. I had to accept that as the norm.
LEADS TO HIDING
This led me to hide my true self.
I don’t think I’m the only one who’ve received a script like this in life and have normalized life around it. I know of, have heard of and seen many who are from a similar upbringing like mine, who would raise their hands and say, “me too!”
This “hiding” impacted my parenting, leadership and team-player ability, and other relationships.
I had to be this strong, all-knowing, unemotional, superman-kind-of-leader/parent. Showing and talking about my own vulnerabilities was a no-no. I had a “reputation” to maintain–so I thought.
Until …
… until one day, it finally dawned on me that I was hiding. I was hiding ME. People around me didn’t really know ME. They knew of me, but not really knew ME.
It was safe…
… I thought.
HAVE THE COURAGE
Once this revelation came to me through reading and/or listening to the stories of great leaders who I admired and hearing or reading of their struggles, weaknesses, dark moments, fears, painful moments and more, I realized it was more of a liability hiding than it was “coming out.”
I accepted my humanity with all its flaws, scars, fears, messy-moments, and more, and decided to begin the journey of showing my true self.
I am now more willing to disclose parts of my life as it relates to bringing value to others than I ever did before.
I realized that people are more willing to listen when they know that I’m just like them in one way or another. My story helps to close the gap and make me a more valuable person.
RAISE YOUR VALUE
As you know, people are more apt to do business with those they know, like and trust. My willingness to be more vulnerable has raised my value.
I hope you’re not hearing me say that you should share all your “dirty laundry” to be more valuable. Obviously not. There are things in my life that I will not share because it would not be of any value to others. I’m sure you do too.
But we can share them in ways that make us authentic. It’s called using wisdom.
Let me encourage you to find ways to be more open with your life. Share what’s helpful. Show your humanity.
And when you do, get ready for the feeling of liberation.
If you need some help framing what you share so that it can be of value to others and liberate you, I can help you. I’ve helped countless numbers of people do this. I use my RE-STORYING TECHNIQUE to accomplish this.
Let me know if this is something you would like my help with and we could set up a 30-minute phone conversation to see if my technique would serve you.
CONNECT with me HERE
