Over the years as I’ve looked in the mirror I’ve noticed a growth gradually taking place around my waist and belly. I stood aghast in dismay as a feeling of helplessness gripped my soul. I also felt the wind of depression making its way towards me. I felt trapped.
Have you ever felt this way? Am I the only one this has ever happened to? Please say you have and I’m not the only one! Thanks.
Each year that passed, the size of my clothes kept getting larger and larger. A half inch here and a half inch there. I covered it up well but I refused to admit to myself that this was actually happening. I was in denial.
I kept this “game” going for a long time. I was able to do so with the use of these five words, which I’ve also heard others use very often around me or in conversation. You may be guilty of using them yourself.
THE FIVE WORDS THAT WILL KEEP YOU STUCK
Here are those horrendous words, which I’ll explain why they are, in a few moments. They are: I DO NOT WANT TO! I was thinking of titling this article with “these 4 words” because you hardly hear anyone say “I do not want to” unless they really want to make a point. They generally say, “I don’t want to.”
But I’m sure the grammar police would immediately jump all over me pointing out that “don’t” is made up of two words. I wanted to avoid a citation. I’ve gotten enough of those over the years. I don’t need another one. So, I gave in. Haha.
MY BRIEF WHALE STORY
Before I get to how these words will keep you stuck, I must share with you this brief story.
I was at the gym doing a full-body workout. I pushed myself hard. My shirt was soaking wet and I was huffing and puffing.
As I took a breather I thought of people who are focused on getting beach bodies for the summer. They starve themselves and become obsessed with exercise trying to get that body. I thought about that and came to this conclusion: “I don’t care for a beach body. I only care that I don’t end up having one that looks like a whale.” haha
Notice that I stated what I didn’t want—a whale looking body. The question is, what did I want? What if I took time to think of what I wanted?
Thank God I did and that was what sent me to the gym along with governing my food intake. I know what I want. I want to have a body weight that’s at least 20 pounds less than where I was when I started. I’m well on my way.
5 REASONS TO GET RID OF THESE WORDS
Having said that, let’s get to why I believe the words “I don’t want to” will keep you stuck.
- When you focus on what you don’t want, you very rarely know what you DO want.
- Saying what you don’t want is reactive whereas saying what you do want is responsive. You are more in control when you are in responsive mode than reactive mode.
- It takes more energy to defend what you don’t want than to state what you do want.
- Knowing what you want and stating it leads to confidence, courage, and clarity.
- People tend to remember what you say you want than what you say you don’t want. Why? You can paint a clearer picture to them.
Because some people have never learned to ask for what they want, they resort to what feels or seems easier.
Yes, it will take some work to learn to ask for what you want but it’s worth it. Do it for you.
You will become more confident and courageous. Your family will learn healthier ways of communicating because you are changing the culture by encouraging others to do the same.
You will earn the respect of your peers or co-workers because they don’t have to work so hard to figure out what you want any more.
Imagine the ripple effect this could have in the home and work environment?
Learning this requires time and determination. But if being clear on what you want and having the confidence and courage to ask for it appeals to you, then the decision to learn becomes a no-brainer.
If this is something you are interested in learning more about, reach out to me and let’s explore how we could make this happen.
