How often have you heard or have you used the phrase “it was an honest mistake?” If you’ve used it, what were you hoping to accomplish by doing so?
MY TAKE ON HONEST MISTAKE
Here’s what I’ve come to understand about the use of the phrase: It is to solicit sympathy. It is to reduce the consequences that could be associated with the “honest mistake.”
I can’t recall ever using the phrase but I know that I’ve heard it more than once. As a matter of fact, I’ve heard it being used quite a bit by the media.
OXYMORON
Here are my questions: What makes a mistake honest? Is there such a thing as a dishonest mistake? How do we determine when to label it one way or another? If you have an answer, please let me know. I want to learn.
I’ve made lots of mistakes in my life. Some of them have been intentional and some have not. This leads me to the other question, is doing something intentionally a mistake?
These are some questions we need to wrestle with. I know, I need to.
I was taught that when I intentionally do something, it’s no longer a mistake. It is a deliberate act of disobedience. It is a willful disregard for the truth, another person’s feelings, or authority. I am simply rebelling.
I know these are some strong statements but it’s calling things what they are.
TAKING RESPONSIBILITY
When I don’t have as strong a response as this, I’ll keep on excusing myself from taking responsibility for my action and keep making these “honest mistakes.”
Imagine what would happen if a group of people living and/or working together allowed this behavior to take hold within their group? How long do you think this group would survive?
I believe a mistake is simply what it is; a mistake. There’s no need to qualify it as honest, which implies that there is one that is dishonest.
To add that qualifier makes me suspicious. It tells me you are trying to appeal to my empathetic side, looking for a pass on what was done.
Yes, mistakes are made. I stated above that I’ve made my share of them and will add to that as long as I’m alive.
What I don’t want to do is give myself a pass. If it is something I do intentionally, I need to take responsibility and pursue forgiveness and restoration. I must employ humidity in the process.
If it is something that I tried to do and didn’t hit the mark, I mistook one thing for another, then it is a mistake and again, I need to do whatever I need to do to make sure others know it wasn’t intentional. It was indeed a mistake.
MODEL RESPONSIBILITY
As a leader, you and I need to model this behavior and call others to follow our examples. We need to educate our family and/or team on this topic of mistake so that together we can create a culture of taking responsibility.
Let’s call our action what it is and not throw ourselves a softball by calling a mistake, honest.
YOU CAN CHANGE
If you have a hard time doing this, which I know can happen, don’t hesitate to reach out to me so we can learn adaptable methods to keep you flexible.
One of my recent clients sent me an email this past week, thanking me for helping her do just that. It’s possible to change our way of thinking and behaving.
To set up a call to see if I could help you, connect with me and I’ll follow up with you.
