One of the areas that some people have the most difficulty is in the area of patience. Is this also true of you as well?
What do you do when you find yourself becoming impatient? What do you find to be most helpful?
I find that at times, I really try to find something helpful, but that thing seem to elude me. I guess I’m not patient enough to look for it.
It’s like the person who prayed to God to give him patience but ended by saying, “God, please let me have it now.” Can you relate to a prayer like this? I know I can.
I have a male Maltese dog and trying to teach him certain behaviors, requires that I use the leash on him. He tend to respond to a tug here and there.
We too need a tug here and there but without a physical leash. But at times we find it challenging.
What makes it so hard to be patient?
I wish I knew the answer, but I want to suggest three ways to improve in your patience department. Be patient while I outline them.
3 Ways To Become More Patient
1. Become a Better Listener
You might think that listening is not connected to being patient. I could see why you might think that, but as I said, be patient and read on.
What does listening have to do with being patient? A lot.
First, it requires you to not be self centered. Self centeredness is one of the main culprits of impatience. It demands that you think about yourself – your convenience – rather than another person.
When we aren’t getting things the way we want it or fast enough, it becomes inconvenient for us. We don’t like to be inconvenienced. We are too important to have this happen to us. We have places to go, people to see and things to do and can’t afford for anything to get in the way.
Waiting or being delayed, interrupts our plan.
However, if we should take the time to “listen” to what is happening around us – become more in-tune – then we might realize that it’s nothing personal. We live in a hurried world, where everything ought to happen right away. We are in a microwave society that says, give it to me now. I want it now. I don’t have the time to cook the meal. Just throw it in the microwave and give it to me.
Listening to your surroundings can give you insights that you would have missed.
You could also become more empathetic, which I’ll talk about as the second way to become more patient.
Listening in my world, requires the use of the 5 senses. You have to learn to listen through the senses of sight, smell, hearing, feeling and tasting. I’ll talk more about that in the future, but I’m sure you understand the thought behind that.
2. Become More Empathetic
This is not easy to do. Again, because of being so much into ourselves, we don’t take the time to think about how others are feeling. We are blinded by being self-focus.
Empathy is simply putting on the shoes of another person and trying to walk in it. Of course, this is not a literal suggestion, but it might not be a bad idea especially if their size is different than yours.
Whenever we are able to imagine what it must be like to be the other person; be in their situation, it makes all the difference. The interesting thing is that when it is our turn to be in need of empathy, we try to communicate our need of that in very strong ways. We want people to understand us. We want them to be kind, patient, gentle and giving.
To be more empathetic, is to view the world from the other person’s perspective. One of the illustrations I use with my clients, is to visualize a fence where you are on one side and the other person is on the other. You both are looking on the fence but seeing different things.
You wil have to slow the process down, put a hold on your thoughts and assumptions, and go to the other side to see what they are seeing and feeling.
3. Become A Responder Rather Than A Reactor
Becoming a responder is slowing down your impulsive reaction. The tendency is to have a knee-jerk reaction to things that impact us through our senses. We want to give an immediate response.
A responder is one who takes a “breath” between what they say or do when they feel the need to respond. It is the counting to ten moment. It is slowing down the process and find a way to communicate more effectively so that the outcome is helpful and not hurtful.
This requires discipline and a certain skill-set. It doesn’t happen overnight. You have to be intentional to make it happen. You have to want to. My contention is that if you want to learn to become more patient, you must become a responder rather than a reactor.
In summary, learning to become more patient without a leash requires that we become a better listener, become more empathetic and become a responder rather than a reactor.
What’s your thoughts on these 3 suggestions as to how you can become more patient? What would you add?
Take a few moments and give your thoughts below in the box provided.
