It is absurd to think that some people intentionally seek ways to sabotage their relationship. Who does that?
Surprisingly, there are people who make this their goal. They strategize how to do so without being direct. Do you know anyone like that? I do.
In my position as a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, I have the privilege of seeing and hearing stories that spans the globe; not literally but it does feel like I’ve heard them all even though I still hear some that catches me off-guard.
Some of those stories have all the elements of intentional sabotaging. There’s no doubt in my mind at those times.
However, some people inadvertently do things that could jeopardize their relationship, without even realizing it. The following five behaviors I believe are sure-fire ways to sabotage relationships. I would love to hear your thoughts on them at the end.
1. Be critical of the other person: Find things to constantly criticize—the way they do business, dress, cook, sleep, walk, and so on. This type of criticism will have negative results over time.
2. Have Contempt for the other person: the feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn. This happens in the manner in which a person is spoken to—tone of voice, crude language, name calling and so on. This too will take a toll on the other person in due time.
3. Be defensiveness: taking this position sets up an adversarial interaction. One or both of the persons have developed a belief system that sees the other person as an adversary rather than an ally. We only defend ourselves against things or people that we believe are out to hurt us.
4. Practice stonewalling against the other person: delay or block (a request, process, or person) by refusing to answer questions or by giving evasive replies, especially in politics. This behavior can create suspicion and distrust, which is never healthy for relationships.
5. Blame the other person: not taking responsibility for playing a part when a conflict arises, leaves the other person frustrated; angry. They get tired of being blamed for everything. What generally happens is that they either pull away in a drastic manner or do so over time.
These five ways that could be used to sabotage relationships are not the only ways, but I think they are major ones. What do you think?
I recently did a podcast episode where I elaborated even more on each of the five ways that can be accessed here. Take a few minutes and listen to the audio and give me some feedback.
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