The One Mistake In Your Relationships
The one mistake so many people make in relationships is that of inconsistency.
Have you ever experienced unfair treatment? I have. The sad part is that I have also treated others unfairly.
I have also listened to others tell their painful stories of the inconsistent treatment they too have endured.
This treatment caused them to make a number of assumptions as they attempted to explain their experiences. These experiences have baffled them.
Are you one who have behaved in an inconsistent manner? I can say I have done this at times. I try not to because I know what it feels like to be the recipient of this behavior.
How does one behave in an inconsistent manner?
One of the ways is to be friendly, warm and comforting to an acquaintance or even to a stranger. And then being mean, not friendly and lacking comfort to someone close to you.
A word that many have used to describe this behavior is hypocrisy. When you are on the receiving end, it doesn’t seem to make sense. You begin to look for answers and some of the answers or questions that come your way are:
- What did I do?
- You must not like me
- It must be my physical makeup, spiritual beliefs, country of origin, family, intellect, etc. The list is endless.
- Do you hate me?
- Are you trying to get rid of me?
Inconsistent behavior can have far reaching effect. It can lead to someone questioning their value, worth, importance. It can have emotional, mental and financial repercussions.
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How To Reduce Charges Of Favoritism
To reduce charges of favoritism or hypocrisy, make every effort to be consistent. Try to treat everyone as fair as possible on similar issues.
There is one story that I find intriguing. It is the story of the Apostle Peter. Paul had to confront him on this because of the impact it was having on various layers of relationship.
CASE STUDY
When he (Peter) first arrived, he ate with the Gentile Christians, who were not circumcised. But afterward, when some friends of James came, Peter wouldn’t eat with the Gentiles anymore. He was afraid of criticism from these people who insisted on the necessity of circumcision. As a result, other Jewish Christians followed Peter’s hypocrisy, and even Barnabas was led astray by their hypocrisy. (Galatians 2:12,13 NLT)
If you are one who find yourself being inconsistent in your behavior, ask yourself the following questions:
- Is it that I am afraid of what others might say?
- Am I taking some of my relationships for granted?
- Is it an issue of honesty where I am choosing to not be honest with my true feelings?
If you have been on the receiving end where others have shown inconsistency in their behavior towards you, find a way to get past it.
Staying hurt by it will have long-term implications that you do not need to endure.
The best way to do so, is find a way to forgive.
It’s Now Your Turn
How have you seen or experienced inconsistency? I would love to hear your experience or ways that you have dealt with it. What other topics would you like to see explored or expanded on?
Leave your thoughts below.
